


The Good Guys

by InLolaMei



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Childhood Trauma, Daddy Kink, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hitman!AU, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Smut, Swearing, this sounds probably darker than intended
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-03-18
Packaged: 2019-09-30 17:51:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17228564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InLolaMei/pseuds/InLolaMei
Summary: The definition of a hitman is rather simple: a man who is paid to murder someone.But combining work life and love life when your job is neither ordinary nor socially accepted is, as it turns out, quite the challenge for everyone involved.orSicheng, Jaemin, Jaehyun, Taeyong and Jisung try their best to keep their lives together.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys and welcome to my next chaptered fic :)
> 
> Just for clarification: I do NOT support the kind of violence displayed in this fanfic. Thank you.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story and if you do remember to leave kudos and comments, they mean a lot to me and are always appreciated <3
> 
> Last but not least a big shoutout to donghyucknoona who manages to motivate me to keep on writing everytime. Thank you so, so much, dear <33

The meeting room was as muggy and dusty as ever. As Sicheng walked in, he saw that Jaehyun sat on one of the dark brown, worn-out couches and had placed his legs on the couch table in front of him. In his hand he held a already half-empty bottle of beer of which he occasionally took a sip from. His face was only dimly lit by the ceiling lamp that was again missing one light bulb.  
Opposite of him sat Jaemin and Jisung. As usual, they were concentrated on the phones in their hands. It seemed like his phone was the only thing that kept Jisung awake this late at night. His and Jaemin’s face were hidden by their dark hoodies and therefore were only lit by the light of their phones.  
Sicheng sat down on the only armchair around the table. He was tired himself because he worked till late last night to finish the job he had prepared for the last whole week.  
As soon as he sat down, Jaehyun offered him a bottle that Sicheng willingly accepted.

“You deserve it,” said Jaehyun with a smile as the other took the bottle of the relatively expensive beer Jaehyun loved to drink, especially during their meetings.  
A second later, Sicheng heard footsteps out of the room next door and saw Taeyong holding some pages and coming towards the others. Jaemin and Jisung packed their phones away and looked attentively at Taeyong.

“So, everyone. With Sicheng finally finishing his first class job yesterday, we can be proud of ourselves as it was a exceptionally successful week and month. The boss is more than pleased with you, as expected, and has some new jobs for you. I was so free to pre-decide who gets what, but as usual, speak up if you want to change.” Taeyong made a little break to see if everyone was still on board or demurred. When he saw everyone was still calm, he continued, “Alright, what do we got? Secretary of major Park Wonsoon, Ms. Lee Soni. Apparently she isn’t as loyal to her boss as she is demanded to be and needs to be eliminated to reduce any further harm she could do in the upcoming mayoral race. I thought about Jaehyun for this one, he is the best with ladies.”  
Nobody raised a plea yet.  
“Then, Mr. Park Peonba, director of the Seoul Grand Park. His story is somewhat complicated, you can read it yourself if you like.” Taeyong already faced Jaemin and Jisung while saying this.  
“Last but not least Mr. Kim Ilsung. It’s a private request so not much security or protection on his side. I thought about giving this one to Sicheng, if that’s alright for you? He had enough work last time, I thought he could use an easy one right now.”

“That’s fine for me,” Jaemin said and Taeyong gave him and Jisung the folder of Mr. Zoo-director.  
“What do you think, Jaehyun? Want to handle another lady or chill a bit?” Sicheng asked.  
“I can handle the lady, I think. Taeyongs right, you deserve an easy one.”  
“Alright, thanks everyone,” Sicheng said and Taeyong distributed the other two folders for their cases.

Private requests were really always the most easy ones. Some jealous husbands or bosses or even members of their own family pay an awful lot of money to get rid of somebody forever. Sicheng never understood why anybody would do that with people they knew but he was thankful for them since it was easy money _and_ you always had a great story to read from their folders.  
The rest of the orders from Taeyong were as usual: Be fast, be precise, no unnecessary bloodbath and nobody will track us. If you need help, always come here to your family since we got your back. 

After the surprisingly short meeting without any disruptions, Jisung nearly fell asleep on the couch so he made his way back home.  
“See you later or maybe tomorrow,” Jisung said to Taeyong and Jaehyun, now both of them sitting on the couch.  
“Yeah, good night little one,” said Jaehyun.  
“See you later”, added Taeyong.

‘Little one’ actually was an odd nickname for him. Jisung was nearly as tall as Jaehyun and everyone else, but since he and Taeyong kind of picked him up from the street and took him in when he was just thirteen years old, he was and will always be their little baby.

After saying goodbye himself, Jaemin followed his killer-assistant (another nice nickname Jisung got during his time with Jaehyun and Taeyong) out of the room.  
Now that only Sicheng, Jaehyun and Taeyong were left, the two on the couch started showing their boyfriend-behaviour more. Jaehyun had placed an arm around his man and Taeyong leaned his head against his boyfriend's shoulder. Watching this made Sicheng a little jealous.  
How much did he crave his man’s hug right now. Being in his arm, feeling safe. But he knew that Yuta was still working now. He hadn’t seen him after his last kill and that was a big one. He just wanted to be with him and be held by him and feel loved after his awfully stressful week. And he would do the same to him. He would help him shower off all the glitter he always put on before leaving for work and cuddle him in some warm towels and maybe even carry him to bed where no one could separate them for a few hours. He knew all this could come true, he just had to wait for a couple more hours. 

“Sicheng, are you alright?” asked Taeyong.  
“What? Me? Sure,” Sicheng didn’t even realise how much his thoughts had drifted off.  
“How is it going with your man?” Jaehyun asked.  
“It’s good, I would say. He is perfect,” Sicheng had to smile to himself at the thought of Yuta’s face and smile. Oh, his perfect smile…  
Jaehyun and Taeyong smiled now too.  
“I’m so happy for you,” Taeyong said. “You know that you can always bring him here, right? I’d love to meet the mysterious guy that stole your heart at a strip club just once.”  
Sicheng laughed slightly. “Yeah, I know. Maybe I will someday. If I ever tell him what my job really is about…”  
“You still didn’t tell him?” Jaehyun asked. “How do you even hide this?”  
“Well,” Sicheng fiddled with the ends of his sweater, “I told him I’m a nurse. I can still talk to him about people being alive and dead and it explains all my ‘night shifts’.”  
“Not bad”  
“Thank you, I think so myself,” he added proudly.

The three of them laughed and then were silent for a while until Taeyong spoke again, “Sicheng, I don’t want to rush you and especially not tell you what to do, not when it comes to your private life, but you know that you have to tell him sometime if you want to continue this relationship you have, do you?”  
Sicheng nodded slowly.  
“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.” Taeyong gave Sicheng an empathetic look the other tried his best to return.

Sicheng always liked Taeyong. Sure, it was weird at first when Jaehyun and him announced that they were dating. A hitman and his business partner, that was a little unusual, but the two of them did really well and are a good team, in private- and in business-life. It only increased the feeling everyone of them already got about being a family so nobody complained.

“I think I should go now too. I’m exhausted today,” Sicheng said.  
“Everyone would be,” Jaehyun said. “Good night, man,” he said and shook hands with Sicheng.  
“Sleep tight Winwin,” Taeyong said and winked at him. With a last laugh and while shaking his head because of the stupid nickname Taeyong had used, Sicheng also left the meeting room.

You know, he doesn’t like to brag, it’s just not his style, but even Sicheng himself has to admit that he indeed is one of the best hitman you can get in Korea right now. Maybe along with Jaehyun. That’s where his nickname came from. Taeyong invented it the time when he and Jaehyun were still new to the business because Sicheng never missed and therefore never lost.  
This was around 5 years ago and he hadn’t heard it in a while. Not because he got worse, oh no, but because it wasn’t a surprise anymore that he won, everyone knew that so the name somehow lost its function.

When Sicheng came home, his bed was as empty as he expected it to be. No Yuta. It was already two o’ clock so it wouldn’t take longer than two more hours until he came back. Sicheng decided to wait for him. He changed into more casual clothes and sat on their bed with his phone in his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for some domestic Yuwin?

Yuta silently opened the front door as he came in. The room was not fully dark, Sicheng had turned on his bedside lamp that was standing next to their bed. He laid sideways on it, his legs hanging down from it, his breath evenly.   
“I thought I told you to stop waiting for me,” Yuta whispered to his sleeping boyfriend as he closed the door.

He was sweaty and had his make up nearly everywhere. He thought he always looked like shit after work.    
After washing himself and brushing his teeth and stuff, he went to bed. But before he laid down himself, he pushed Sichengs legs on the bed and covered him in a blanket, then he laid himself next to him and cuddled him while silently and fastly falling asleep.

The next morning Sicheng was the first one to awake. It was not really morning, more noon, but it was their usual wake up time so it was morning for them.  
“Damn it,” he whispered to himself when he realised that he didn’t have a memory of Yuta coming home. He must have fallen asleep… again.  
He turned around to look at him. His handsome face was lying right there, calm and peaceful. Sicheng couldn’t stop himself from stroking a strand of hair back behind the other’s ear.

“Mmmh, morning,” moaned Yuta.  
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up,” Sicheng whispered frantically.  
“I don’t care, come here,” Yuta said and pulled Sicheng in for a kiss. Both of them were so busy lately that they didn’t have much time to spent together and it was clear to see that they both missed each other.

“Wait, I didn’t even brush my teeth yet,” Sicheng said.  
Yuta smiled. Oh, his smile… It could bring world peace.  
“It doesn’t matter,” he said calmly, taking in every detail of the other’s sleepy face. “I missed you, Sicheng.” He tousled through his boyfriends untidy hair.  
“I missed you too. So fucking much,” he replied and went in for another kiss.  
Yuta had wrapped his legs around Sicheng who was suddenly lying on top of him. As he was only wearing boxers, Sicheng could feel that he already got a boner.

“You’re hard? We didn’t even start anything,” he laughed.  
Yuta shyly looked away. “It’s just- it’s been too long,” he said sheepishly, still trying to hide his face.  
“Hey, don’t look away, please,” Sicheng said lovingly. He stroked over Yutas pinky cheeks. “It’s not embarrassing,” a pause,  “it’s hot.”  
“Hot?” Yuta asked, one eyebrow raised in suspicion.  
“Yeah, and it turns me on,” he breathed out and went in for Yutas neck. “ _ You _ turn me on, Baby.” He nibbled on it without trying to get him any hickeys because he knew that Yuta would get in trouble at work for that. The other pushed his hip up to get it closer to his boyfriend’s crotch. Sicheng understood and slowly moved one hand down between both of their hips.    
He rubbed on his boyfriend’s hard member which made Yuta breathe more heavily. He grabbed on Sichengs neck and pulled him in for another kiss. When they separated, Yuta let out a deep moan. This was Sichengs signal to stop massaging the other’s dick. He didn’t want to make him come just like this.   


As soon as he let go of his dick, Yuta pushed his upper body up, removed Sichengs shirt from him and pulled down his sweatpants and underwear. Then he made him lay down and bent over him. With his fingertips, he drew lines on his body, appreciating every inch of it. While he did, the other held onto Yuta’s arm.

“You are so beautiful,” Yuta said quietly, his dark eyes staring into Sicheng’s.  
Sicheng laughed. “Oh no, I’m not!”  
“Yes you are!” Yuta said defensively while a broad grin spread on his face. “I’ll never let you claim anything else!” he added.  
Sicheng smiled widely now and lightly bit his bottom lip out of embarrassment.  
“Ah, so perfect,” Yuta breathed out and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend and allowed Sicheng to take control with his tongue. While they were making out passionately, Yuta firmly grabbed the other’s dick and started pumping it slowly. He knew he did a good job because the kisses got more and more wet and intense until Sicheng had to break their lip’s contact to breathe properly again.    
Yuta smiled at him and moved down with his head with more tender kisses on his way. When he reached his target he didn’t hesitate to take it in his mouth. 

Sicheng wasn’t fully hard yet so Yuta could easily fit his whole cock into his mouth so that his nose was pressed against the trimmed hair surrounding it.  
After a while he let his salvia mix up with the leaking precome, wettening Sicheng’s dick further. Yuta loved giving dirty blowjobs, preferably to Sicheng, of course, as he received them so well.  
He whined out his name as Yuta pressed his tongue into the slit and tried to hold onto the sheets around him.  
Yuta loved seeing him so desperate. So desperate for his touch, his attention, his love.  
He licked and massaged the best he could while steadily bopping his head up and down on it until he suddenly let go of Sicheng’s dick, making the other whimper at the sudden loss of friction.

With one last kiss to the inside of Sicheng’s thighs, Yuta completely let go of him and pulled out some lube from his bedside table to give it to Sicheng.  
Still panting slightly, he got up and Yuta kneeled down in front of him, his ass facing him.  
Without warning, Sicheng licked licked all over his closing, causing Yuta to get goosebumps from the sudden attack.  
His tongue played with Yuta’s hole for a while, making him loose, before he put a good amount of lube on his fingers and pushed two of them inside.

“Oh fuck!” Yuta cried out, his head dropping down on the mattress.  
“Too fast?” Sicheng asked worried, keeping his movement still.  
“No, no keep going,” Yuta gasped when he grabbed the sheets under him, and Sicheng did.

He slowly began moving his fingers back and forth in Yutas hole, then he did a scissoring movement to stretch it more before adding a third one and continued to thrust them inside his boyfriend who pushed back at them. Yuta hadn’t stopped moaning since the beginning.    
When Sicheng decided it was stretched enough and he couldn’t stand the sight any longer, he ordered Yuta to turn around.

“I want to see your face, I want to look at you,” he said and Yuta hurried to do it.  
He squeezed out some more lube and covered Sichengs dick in it before sitting in his lap and inserting it into his asshole. It was warm and wet and still so tight that it perfectly fit around his dick. Sicheng didn’t even try to suppress the deep growl coming out of his throat. He savoured every time he got to feel it as if it was their last time, making every moment even more special.  
Sicheng moved slowly now, not wanting to hurt the other. Even while doing small circling movements inside of him, Yuta began moaning again. 

He tightly held onto Sicheng’s head and grabbed a fistful of his hair while Sicheng had closed his arms around the other’s body. Because of the fantastic blowjob he got earlier, he knew that he wouldn’t need long to come which was good since Yuta didn’t look like he could take it much longer. His hair lay flat against his sweaty forehead and his breath only came out as small puffs, every single one of them combined with a whimper, a moan or other unidentified sounds.

Steadily, Sicheng moved faster inside him, carefully increasing the length he thrusted inside him, trying to hit  _ the  _ spot as often as possible, making Yuta gasp for air every time he did.  
As their movements became faster and their moaning louder both came close to their release.

“Fuck, I’m coming!” Yuta moaned. Sicheng took his chance and grabbed Yutas dick that was between his and the other’s stomach and pumped it fastly a few times until he found the other’s cum all over their bodies and Yuta gasping for air - once again - on top of him.  
“Please come inside me, please,” begged Yuta as he was still fiercely riding on Sicheng’s dick.  
Sicheng didn’t even have another option than obeying because the next moment he shot his cum into his boyfriend. Yuta eventually stopped riding as he felt the warm cum in his ass and let Sicheng’s now soft dick fall out of his hole.

Both panting equally hard, they still held onto each other, feeling the body heat of the other, hearing nothing more than their own blood pumping hard in their ears. Then Sicheng let himself fall back onto the bed and pulled Yuta with him.  
They stayed like this until the panting decreased.

“I love you so fucking much, Dong Sicheng,” Yuta said while resting his head on his boyfriends chest and lovely caressing his chest and stomach with his hand, stopping over his heart.  
Sicheng, who had one arm close around the other, pulled up Yuta's chin with his free hand. He loved looking him deep in the eyes and keeping him so close. They smiled at each other and Yuta went in for a kiss Sicheng immediately gave back. It was a slow kiss, tender but at the same time heavy and amorous.  
“And I’m undoubtedly in love with you, Nakamoto Yuta,” Sicheng whispered to him as they departed.

They cuddled for a few more minutes before Sicheng made an suggestion.  
“Should I make breakfast while you go and shower?” he asked and lightly kissed Yutas head.  
“You are at least as sticky as I am currently,” Yuta snorted.  
Sicheng grinned and leaned in to steal another kiss from him.  
“Alright, I’ll quickly clean up myself and _then_ make breakfast as you take a shower. How about that?”  
“Huh.” Yuta rolled down from him and crossed his arm over his chest.

“What is it?” Sicheng asked as he pushed himself up so that he could look at his boyfriend.  
“You really let me shower alone, aren’t you?” Yuta raised one eyebrow in suspicion.  
Sicheng snorted and shook his head. “Even if I wanted to, I would not be able to take a shower with you right now…”  
“Why is that?”

Sicheng lowered his head to place another kiss on Yuta’s collarbone, right where he knew the other loved it.  
“I wouldn’t be able to resist you,” he breathed against his skin. Then he lifted his head up to look him in the eyes again and saw Yuta’s broad grin spread across his face. Sicheng laughed, “but oh God I am so definitely not ready for a second round!”  
“Ts, ts, ts,” Yuta shook his head in mock disappointment, “I think we truly have to work on your condition.”  
Sicheng bit his lower lip and cupped the other’s jaw as he closed the distance and slot their mouths together again.  
After the last, exceptionally chaste kiss, they separated again.

“How about breakfast?” Sicheng tried again. “For now,” he added fastly.  
“That would be great,” the other answered with a smile while pulling a string of hair behind Sicheng’s fairy-like ears.

Soon after, Sicheng stood in the kitchen with a shirt and his boxers on and made coffee, poured some orange juice and fried some eggs while in the bathroom he heard the water running.

“Ah, fried eggs, amazing!” Yuta said as he got out of the shower and dried his hair on his way to the table.  
“Well, the best only gets the best,” replied Sicheng.  
“Man, we should really have more sex in the mornings, it makes you all romantic,” said Yuta and smirked at Sicheng.  
The other blushed slightly but couldn’t suppress a smile from himself.

“So tell me,” Yuta began after he had already finished most of his egg, “what goes on at work? What made you be away all of these last lonely nights from me? You only said it was something really important. Can you talk about it? Legally speaking, I mean.”  
“Hm,” Sicheng hummed. He swallowed his bite of toast and washed it down with a big gulp of juice while trying to think about his next story. He always hated this part, the lying, but he knew it was necessary.  

“So, yes, it was really important.” A harrumph. “There was this man who - let’s say it shortly - was about to die. He was a really- important person so it wasn’t just like usual that we tried to nurse him as a person, we also knew what it meant for many  _ many  _ other people if he stayed alive. Ehm, it was difficult, tho, because he was super weak and the- the operations didn’t go well,” he gulped, “we did our best anyways, of course, but it wasn’t very likely that he would survive this.” He took a deep breath. “And sadly, we were right…” 

“He- he died?” Yuta was shocked. “You- you didn’t tell me! You didn’t tell me that someone died lately… Why didn’t you, Sicheng?” He wasn’t angry, Sicheng could see that, just confused and worried about him. 

Usually, Sicheng loved that part of him. But when he was like this when it came to his work, he didn’t know how to handle it.

“I’m sorry, I just- I mean, it happens. It happens more often than we sometimes like to admit, but that’s kind of how life goes, isn’t it?”  
Yuta took the others hand and squeezed it with his own two.  
“It’s alright, really, Yuta. I have to handle death as a nurse and it wasn’t the first and won’t be the last time something like this happened.”  
“Yeah I know,” Yuta said weakly. “I’m just so proud of you, Sicheng. I could never do that. I could never help people like you do. It’s amazing,” he said as he looked so hopeful up at him.  
“Thank you,” Sicheng managed to bring out, even though deep down the guilt that rose everytime he lied to Yuta about his daily work-life didn’t miss its chance this time.

“But please tell me about your work as well,” Sicheng asked in an attempt to change the topic and stop the slowly spreading burning inside his stomach.

Luckily, Yuta didn’t seem to notice the change of his mood. It calmed Sicheng down immensely.

“Oh, it wasn‘t that special, really. Mostly the same customers, mostly the same orders.”  
“Lapdances?” Sicheng asked while smirking.  
“Lapdances.” Yuta confirmed and smiled back at him.  
“Yeah, you’re good at those,” the other said, resting his head on his hand, still smiling.  
Yuta blushed a bit but also looked proud. “Thank you, Mr. Dong,” he said.

“What about the customers? You said ‘mostly the same’. Could you win some new ones for yourself?” Sicheng asked while continuing to work on his toast.  
“Maybe this one dude. He is kind of old and stinky, but he seemed to enjoy it, like  _ really  _ enjoy it,” Yuta said and his eyes widened almost comically.

“I hate it when you have to do that…” Sicheng suddenly frowned.  
“What?”  
“I don’t like the thought of you being touched if you don’t like it. Everyone who is touching your body should feel like the happiest person on this planet and you shouldn’t be disgusted by them.”  
“Are you jealous? Is- is that jealousy I hear?” Yutas mouth dropped open a bit.  
Sicheng barely got jealous, which was kind of necessary if your boyfriend works at a gay strip club, so everytime he actually _ was  _ jealous left Yuta shook.

“I- no! I just care about you, that’s all,” Sicheng claimed.  
“Sicheng,” Yuta began softly, “you know that I can always say no, right? And I will if I really don’t want to do it. The guy I was telling you about just wasn’t that grabby so only dancing for him was alright for me.” He placed his hand on Sichengs neck and smiled. “I take care of myself, you have to trust me with that.”

“I do,” the other said. “I trust you more than anyone.” They deeply stared into each other’s eyes again.  
“Good, because you should always remember that my job was the thing that brought us together! And there are still a lot of young and cute guys like you I can dance for,” he winked at Sicheng.  
“Oh really? As cute as me?” he asked and raised one of his eyebrows.  
“Well, no. Not as cute as you, that’s not really possible,” he smiled and pulled the other closer for another desirous kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have found any mistakes, want to talk about the story, Yuwin or just something else, feel free to leave a comment or contact me on my instagram (@in.lola.mei)
> 
> The next chapter will likely be up next sunday~


	3. Chapter 3

“Taeyong? Jisung? Are you home?” Jaehyun called into their apartment and tossed his keys into a shell standing on the counter next to the entrance as he closed the door shut.  
“Jaehyun? You’re already done?” Taeyong came out of his office and had some ink smeared on his hands. They shortly kissed for a greeting.  
“That was fast, man,” said Jisung as he came out of his room and sat down at the dining table. “So what happened?”

Jisung was always keen to hear stories from the jobs of the others. He was eager to learn more so that one day he’d be able to do one himself and not just be the second hand of Jaemin. Even though he liked his tasks, he simply wanted to do more someday.

“Well,” Jaehyun and Taeyong also sat down at the table, Jaehyun with a glass of water in front of him. It was kind of his ritual. Jaehyun always drank exactly one glass of water after his jobs. Jisung didn’t know why but assumed it would be healthier than drinking alcohol after every kill, something he knew a lot of hitman did - according to Jaehyun, at least.

Jaehyun told them the whole story.    


Yesterday, he had already met Ms. Lee while deliberately bumping into her on the street in front of her bureau. That somehow became his tactic. He always had to get to know his victims a little more personally before taking their lives. Jaehyun himself didn’t know if it made this whole thing more human or more beast-like and psychopathic, but he had stopped thinking about that a while ago. This was just the way it worked best for him and so he developed some great ways of ‘accidentally’ bumping into someone or how to inconspicuously start a conversation with them. He usually chose one or two days before he planned to kill them. Most of the time it was enough to get a feeling for the other person. 

With Ms. Lee this time, it was especially easy. 

A woman in her mid-forties, secretary of the major, single with different affairs all around the offices of Seoul’s high-ranking politicians. As Jaehyun found out himself, she was quite attractive and wore skirts a little too short and shoes a little too high for his taste, but who was he to judge?

After he had approached her and her newly bought coffee was spilled all over the sidewalk, she first tried to save some of it and he thought that she was getting really angry with him, but right after she looked him in the face and he played with his charms a bit while smiling shyly and apologising frequently, he had her wrapped around his finger in no time.

She was an easy one, Jaehyun thought. The easy ones always made him sad. They seemed so desperate. He couldn’t understand how someone could always crave more. More attention, more love, more power, more sex. He found out enough about her to know that she had a few serious relationships before but destroyed them by fucking around with other men. It seemed like she didn’t even give herself the chance to be truly happy. But that didn’t matter any more.

This little people-analysing-thing was just his way of spending time when he got bored while spying on his victims.

Apparently she had a really important meeting and tried not to come late, however, she didn’t go without giving him her personal phone number. She had that twinkle in her eyes, the one Jaehyun used to see whenever he was on sugar mommy hunt back in high school. Looking shy and innocent worked back then as good as it did now.

So, yeah, that was yesterday. Bumping into her, a little flirting and playing the shy one (women her age mostly bought that).  
Today was THE day, her last one. It was quite unspectacular. He planned to go home to her, more or less. Across the street was an empty house, ready for renovation. He waited until she came to her bedroom and fired. Nothing big, no long distances and a free field of fire. He was done in no time and long gone before any of the neighbours had called the police.  
“So that’s why I’m already back,” he ended his story-telling.

“You didn’t kill her while being insider her apartment today?” asked Jisung. This was actually not uncommon for Jaehyun.  
“No, I kind of didn’t feel like it. I wanted to keep my space today.” Jisung didn’t need to know that it was because he pitied her. He didn’t want to break her heart by letting her know that she actually was nothing to him and probably the other men she normally visited.  
“Whose rifle did you use? I thought the one at work was malfunctioning.”  
“Yeah, a bit. I tested it before, obviously. It was alright for the relatively short distance.” Jisung and Taeyong nodded in comprehension.

“What did you do all day?” asked Jaehyun both of them.  
“Nothing much, school stuff and talking to Jaemin about our job. His plan is good.”  
“Oh yeah? You have to tell me how it worked out after.”  
“Yeah sure,” said Jisung.

“What about you honey?” Jaehyun asked Taeyong now.  
He let out a exhausted sigh. “I was working in the office most of the time. Last month had gotten us a lot of paperwork and I couldn’t finish it. The boss is still waiting so that’s my day…”  
Jaehyun placed his arm around his boyfriend and stroked the other’s arm.  
“You know,” Taeyong continued, “I kinda miss the thrill of killing sometimes. The freedom to investigate properly, making a plan and successfully execute him. It was always a lot of fun.” He sounded reminiscent.

“Then why don’t you go shooting again? You could do it, you still have the skill,” said Jaehyun.  
“Even if I have, I’m kind of out of practice these days and I feel like I’m nearly too old to start again… No, I think I’ll stay behind my desk. Someone has to do the formalities for you, am I right?” Taeyong said and slightly pecked Jaehyuns lips.  
“Alright, but just for the record. I don’t think you’re old at all and you’re still quite flexible,” Jaehyun said seductively and leaned in closer to Taeyong. With his hand he tightly gripped Taeyongs thigh.

“Okay guys,” Jisung interrupted, “thanks for all the input Jaehyun, but I think I’ll go now, leave you two some room, you know?” He stood up from the table and threw on his jacket.  
“Where are you going?” asked Taeyong.  
“Chenle. We’ll go hanging out for a bit,” he replied and started to make his way towards their front door.  
“Alright, but be careful- and have fun!” called Jaehyun.  
“As you know, I always have and always do. See you later. Oh- and please leave our dining table out of it, that’d be great,” he looked at them both one last time and then disappeared through the door.

As soon as the door closed again, Taeyong turned to Jaehyun again.  
“You’re usually not as straightforward when he’s with us,” he said, tho there was no sign of antipathy in his voice.  
“True, but I felt like you could use some distraction from all the working stress,” Jaehyun leaned in closer to Taeyong and picked him up to place him on the table. “And I know how horny you usually get after I did a job,” he added with a smirk on his face. His hands wandered all around Taeyongs body now while the other stared into his man’s eyes and stroked his neck.

“Well, that’s not untrue,” Taeyong smirked.  
“Oh don’t tease, baby boy. I can see your boner through your pants and you know I won’t fuck you if you’re not being honest with me.” He had stopped touching the other now. “I know how you lose control with me and how you like to obey my commands. You just have to say it.”  
Taeyong kind of aggressively grabbed Jaehyuns neck and pulled him in for a long wet kiss. He touched the others ass and squeezed it hard as he tried to rub his crotch against the others.

“Wow, wow, why so wild, kitty?” Jaehyun laughed.  
“I want you,” Taeyong breathed into the younger’s ear. “I want you so much.” He continued grinding on Jaehyuns crotch, pulling him harder against himself and his breathing became heavier and heavier.  
“If you want it, then say it,” Jaehyun commanded a lot harsher now. This tone only turned Taeyong on so much more and the thought of getting fucked right here right now by this immensely hot man right in front of him actually was enough to make him beg, but he knew that if he teased a little longer, Jaehyun would be rougher later and that’s exactly what he wanted. Therefore, Taeyong waited a bit and he and Jaehyun exchanged more wild kisses before he moaned, “Please fuck me, daddy.”

“Again,” Jaehyun ordered and tilted his head up so that Taeyong could only reach his throat and continued leaving trays of kisses on it.  
“I beg you to fuck me, daddy. Right now. I need your dick, please,” Taeyong whimpered and rubbed his whole body against Jaehyuns. He was sweaty already.

Suddenly, Jaehyun pushed Taeyong away from him, pulled off his shirt and harshly made him lay flat on his back on the dining table. Then he leaned over him and started slightly biting the others neck. With his free hands he caressed Taeyongs exposed chest and played with his nipples which made him let out a small moan. He always had sensitive nipples.    
While doing so, Jaehyun felt something growing a little way down.

“Gosh you’re already so hard,” Jaehyun said and couldn’t suppress another smirk. He picked Taeyong up again and let him down right in front of him.  
“Knees,” he said and Taeyong obeyed at once. He kneeled in front of him and Jaehyun opened his pants and pulled them down. At the first chance he got, Taeyong grabbed his boy’s dick and sucked it all around. 

“Fuck,” Jaehyun moaned immediately and flung his head back.  
Usually Taeyong was good at giving blow jobs and he did them pretty often, but today he was just wild. Jaehyun didn’t even know where Taeyongs tongue was at the moment, all he could feel was his warm and wet mouth and the vibrating that he made while moaning. He felt nothing but pure pleasure and was rock hard in seconds.  
“Hey!” he said suddenly, “Didn’t I hear you right? I thought you wanted to get fucked. Then what are you doing making me want to come?!”

Taeyong stood up at once, wiping his mouth with his arm. The sight of it was so filthy that Jaehyun couldn’t control himself any longer, he knew that.  
“I’m sorry daddy, please still fuck me, I just want you too bad, please! I’ll promise to do anything you want!”  
“Yeah, you better,” Jaehyun said in this incredibly husky voice that made Taeyong’s dick twitch. He forcibly turned him around and bent him over the table.

“Spread your legs,” he commanded and hit on Taeyongs exposed ass.  
Taeyong let out a deep moan and did what he was told.  
“Wider!” shouted Jaehyun with another slap and Taeyong obeyed again, his precum slowly dripping out of his cock in anticipation.  
“Spit,” he said while holding his hand in front of Taeyongs face. 

With his now wet hand he immediately inserted one finger into Taeyongs ass. It was clear that he didn’t expect that yet since he let out a tiny yell.  
Then Jaehyun added the second one.  
Taeyong whimpered a bit but the whimpers soon changed into deep moans as Jaehyun was thrusting his fingers inside him.

“More,” Taeyong moaned and started moving his hips against the others fingers.  
Jaehyun fastly added a third finger and aggressively thrusted them inside Taeyong. “You needy little kitty. Don’t you know that I make the rules?!”  
Taeyong couldn’t properly speak anymore. Jaehyun’s fingers inside him were hitting his prostate with every thrust he did and he knew that he wouldn’t stop if Taeyong didn’t apologise. He was just a moaning and screaming mess. “Ahh, I’m sorry, daddy, I’m sorry!”

At once, Jaehyun pulled out his fingers and with one strong thrust pushed his whole length inside of him.  
“AH, FUCK!” Taeyong screamed yet Jaehyun showed no mercy, he knew what his man liked and how much he could take. Jaehyuns moans also increased rapidly with every thrust and soon all you could hear were swearing words in between loud moans that could probably be heard even next street and the sound of skin slapping against each other.

It didn’t need long anymore until Taeyong came with loud yells of “Fuck!” and “Oh God!”, leaving white stains on the kitchen floor.  
This didn’t stop Jaehyun, tho. He continued thrusting hard inside his boyfriend, making him whimper and tremble in pain and satisfaction, his nails leaving small stains on the wooden surface of the kitchen table as he scratched it in the search of something to hold on to.

Jaehyun wetted two fingers of the hand not holding Taeyong still and sneaked them around the other’s body to let them slide along the top of Taeyong’s cock. He played with his already softened dick like it was nothing at which Taeyong shrieked out of over-stimulation and if it wasn’t for the table or Jaehyun’s steadying grip on his hip, he for sure would’ve collapsed.

This is a little game they discovered not so long ago. Jaehyun usually took longer to come than his boyfriend and whenever this was the case and he didn’t want it to be boring for Taeyong or just wanted to feel really how much control he had over him. In times like this, overstimulation was the way to go. It was perfect for them and during their last few times Jaehyun had found out what the other wanted and what ‘helped’ best.

So there he was, hitting Taeyong’s prostate over and over again, pumping his sore dick repeatedly and hearing the boy under his control begging him to stop pleasing when in reality he didn’t want him to stop at all (they had different signs for situations like these).

It had been awhile since their last proper fuck. Sure, here and there he got a blowjob in Taeyong’s office or at work or in some public toilets; basically wherever they were, Taeyong got on his knees and Jaehyun loved him for it only more, if that was even possible.  
These situations result in this one right now. During the times they don’t have sex, Taeyong barely touches himself - mostly because Jaehyun asked him not to - but Jaehyun never was out of ‘training’ so he lasted way longer than his boyfriend in the times they actually fucked.

After what felt like an eternity and at the same time only seconds to Taeyong and was as exhausting as running a marathon for Jaehyun, he finally came with loud moans and deep growls that sounded more animal-like than human.

Jaehyun let go of Taeyong’s dick that had already hardened again and pulled out. He gently stroked the other’s buttcheek and placed a few tender kisses on his back as he saw his cum dripping out of his sore asshole.

Panting, Taeyong managed to turn around on the table, now laying on his back.  
“Come here,” he said to his sweaty and also panting boyfriend. Jaehyun laid his head on Taeyongs chest and the other tried wrapping his legs around Jaehyuns hips but gave up after realising that there was truly no strength left so he settled for tousling through his hair instead.

“I love you, Jaehyun,” he panted.  
Jaehyun raised his head and looked him in the eyes. “I love you too Taeyong. More than I ever did before.” He placed a few lovely kisses on his chest.  
“Does it hurt?” he asked Taeyong.  
He laughed. “I’ll be alright, Jaehyun. Who even needs to sit, am I right?” he added jokingly.  
Jaehyun laughed now as well. “I really think we should have sex more frequently. If we don’t it always ends like this.”  
“Well, I don’t think ‘this’ is bad. Do you?”  
“Oh no, not at all. But it’s exhausting as fuck!” They both laughed. 

A little after, Jaehyun picked Taeyong up at laid him on their bed in the bedroom.  
“I’ll just quickly clean up before Jisung comes back,” he whispered to the other.  
“But don’t you dare take long!”  
“How could I ever leave you alone for more than a minute?”  
“Good answer,” Taeyong smirked and drew up the blanket to cover his small frame.

Jaehyun really hurried to clean up, he wanted to come to bed before Taeyong was asleep, knowing that they’d cuddle until they were too tired to keep their eyes open anymore. Taeyong would wrap his arms around him and Jaehyun would snuggle into his chest, inhaling the smell of after-sex-Taeyong, knowing that only he would ever make him like this. He would swell with love and pride and would happily fall asleep next to his boyfriend.


	4. Chapter 4

It was a sunny saturday afternoon. The visitors of Seouls Grand Park lined up at the entrance, waiting to get a ticket and enjoy their free day with friends and family. Jaemin never did something like this, not even when he was a little kid. He didn’t know what family afternoons were like, he just knew that most of the people from his former school found them slightly annoying most of the time. 

These people down there didn’t seem to be annoyed, tho.

Jaemin watched the visitors come and go; giggling, laughing and sometimes arguing. He also saw Mr. Park Peonba, the director that’d be his next job. He greeted some of the visitors and bossed his workers around. He didn’t seem to be a bad person, not in public, at least.  
During his research, Jaemin found out that he supported and pushed the organised criminality in the city, centering this park. He didn’t know if some of the workers were part of it or not or how it began or if there is someone he is working for - there mostly is - but this was none of his business. Jaemin always chose not to find out too much about the people he was about to kill. Sure, he wanted to know why he should do it, what they’ve done, but that was it. If he digged in deeper, he would judge his orders and involve himself too much to simply kill them. No, he kept a healthy emotional distance.

“Great day, isn’t it?” Jisung suddenly appeared next to Jaemin on the bench a little way up the hill he was sitting all this time.  
“Yes it is, even tho it should rain tonight. I always love the smell of rain after a hot day, it’s so refreshing,” he closed his eyes and tilted his head up to the sun. He could feel the light breeze of wind that was rushing through his hair.

“Did you get everything?” he asked Jisung after a while.  
“Of course,” he picked up his backpack. “You can always count on me!”  
Jaemin smiled. “That’s true.” He looked into the bag. Masks, smoke-bombs, additional ammunition. It was all there.

“What the hell is that?” he asked and pointed at one of the masks.  
“That’s Elsa. The other one’s Anna. I thought we could do something family-friendly today. I thought it fitted well,” Jisung said matter of factly.  
Jaemin snorted. “Come on then, we should get ready before Mr. Park decides to fuck his dealer again. I couldn’t bear watching them one more time.”  
“He- what?!” Jisung called after Jaemin who already made his way downhill.  
“Nothing!” he screamed back.  
Startled, Jisung followed him.

They chose a heavily blooming bush to hide behind. Nobody paid them any attention as they put on the Disney-masks and Jaemin pulled out his shotgun. He wasn’t the sniper or pistol kind of guy. Yes, he could also use them under extraordinary circumstances, but his shotgun was his baby.

“Ready?” he asked after their short preparations. Jisung nodded. “Okay, then on my count, get two bombs ready.” 

He sharply monitored every single person near them. Who could get in the way? Where would they run to after the explosion? Until now, he always managed not to get anybody else harmed during his jobs and he wanted it to stay this way. Not every hitman cared about the health of his surroundings but Jaemin  _ and _ his agency valued it a lot. Then he saw the perfect chance.

“Now,” he shortly commanded to Jisung who immediately threw the first smoke-bomb near them. Screams and fast movements were heard from the visitors while Jaemin and Jisung disappeared into the smoke. Sure, they simply could have run out of the bush and shoot directly at Mr. Park, but after a few jobs, they found out that they felt safer and more anonym when they really couldn’t be seen from other people. Besides, Jaemin didn’t have any trouble to score a hit, not even in the smoke.

They moved forward, closer to where Mr. Park should be now. And Jaemin could hear him.  
“Call the police! And the security!” he screamed at some of his workers. Jaemin and Jisung followed his voice and the younger threw the second smoke-bomb in front of them. More screams and more hectic developed from the second explosion. Maybe that was also a reason why Jaemin prefered smoke-bombs. He didn’t have to see all the people running around like crazy, even their screams were distracting enough.

Then he heard Mr. Park again. He was near, very near and so was the end of his life. Jaemin positioned his gun and closed his eyes. He had to concentrate only on the voice of his target, blur out everything else that happened around him. Now he could hear him clearly; screaming with an incomparable panic in his voice. Jaemin got reminded of his father, and then he shot. The screaming died.

Jaemin opened his eyes again and the sounds of his surroundings began to get louder and louder. In the distance he and Jisung could hear sirens coming near so they knew it was their time to go now.

Jaemin fastly packed his weapon back and he and Jisung removed their masks and ran for it. They took the emergency exit like all the other guests to stay undercover and hurried into a small alley a little away from the park. They were long gone when the police finally arrived.

“Woo, that was amazing,” Jisung said. He was panting and you could practically see the adrenaline rushing through his veins.  
“Went pretty well, yeah,” said Jaemin. He was also out of breath and had to cough a few times because of the smoke-bombs.

“Are you going home now?”  
“Not sure, I don’t feel like it.”  
“Okay, I’ll say it differently.,” Jaemin laid his hand on Jisung’s shoulder to get all of the younger’s attention, “Jisung, you should go home. You have to- normalise yourself before you can see other people. Take a jog, work out, I don’t know. Anything that rids you from all this adrenaline. You have this crazy look in your eyes. Everyone would find that suspicious.”

Jisung slowly breathed out and closed his eyes. He always had trouble to stay calm after a job was done. It was his greatest issue he worked on.  
“I can bring you home if you want to,” Jaemin offered.  
“No, it’s alright, we should separate. I can handle it, it’s not far from here.”  
“Alright.” They hugged each other. “Great work,” Jaemin said to Jisung.  
“Yeah, you too. I’ll see you around,” he slightly waved at Jaemin and disappeared behind the next house.

Jaemin leaned on the wall behind him and took a few deep breaths. He was exhausted but he knew that he didn’t want to go home now. What he wanted was staying in this small dark alley for hours and maybe later making his way home, but he knew that he was way too close to the crime scene and had to distance himself more. And he had to get rid of his gun.

So he made his way towards the shopping street. Here, the people weren’t panicked or afraid. He doubted that they even knew what just happened a few blocks away. Some may probably heard the gunshot and the sirens, but they lived in a big city so sirens were nothing uncommon. The angst would spread the next morning, maybe even tonight after what had happened would have been published on the news.  
He had wondered before why Taeyong thought giving him and Jisung one of the most public jobs was a good idea, he knew that they weren’t the most subtle ones. Maybe it was the wish of their client to spread the message, that would at least make sense.

After he had disposed the shotgun at their office in SM building which was placed in the heart of Seoul, he came back to a little cafe he found on his way and sat down on a broad step to a fancy house near it. He loved the smell of freshly brewed coffee. And there he stayed, looking up in the sky, relishing his freedom, savouring the sunset  and enjoying the smell of coffee and early spring… Until it started to rain.

––––––––––

Even tho his leather jacket couldn’t hold much of the wetness back anymore, Jaemin refused to go home. He just wanted to sit here and use the time his brain wasn’t overworking itself to full capacity. He knew all the thoughts would come back to him as soon as he went ‘home’.  
So it got late, most of the shops were closing around him and the shop owners hurried back home. But he was still sitting under the pouring sky.

“Hey, you’re soaking wet,” said a voice suddenly behind him. Jaemin was in his thoughts so much he didn’t even realise that someone was approaching him.  
He fastly turned around. “Yeah, I know,” he said after half heartedly eyeing up the boy standing behind him. Then he faced him his back again. He had hoped that his obviously not friendly reaction would make him go away, but apparently it didn’t.

“Why don’t you go home and change into some dry clothes? You’ll get a cold if you stay here.”  
“And why do you care? I don’t even know you,” Jaemin said, this time without looking at the other. He didn’t feel like wanting to converse. He just wanted to be left alone.  
“Oh, well, but I know you,” the other guy replied, sounding quite enthusiastic despite Jaemin’s lack of joy about the conversation.  
“What?” Now the other got his attention. He turned around again and properly looked at him for the first time. 

_ Fuck _ , he thought. How could he have missed that? The dark hair, handsome face, sincere smile and comforting voice. How could he have not noticed that this guy was his first real crush when he was in middle school and just got more and more handsome over the years? And what the hell was he doing here?

“We went to school together,” he other said, misinterpreting Jaemin’s silence and trying to help him remember.  
“Yeah, yeah I know. Maths and science. You’re Lee Jeno. I’m sorry, I didn’t recognise you in the dark.”

Jeno seemed happy to see that Jaemin remembered him. After all, the last time they saw each other at graduation had been just a few months ago.  
A smile spread across his perfect face, making his eyes form into the shape of a crescent moon.  _ Adorable _ , Jaemin thought and had to stop himself for staring too long at him. He had always got the feeling that Jeno was kind and likeable but because Jaemin mostly spent his free time alone or working, he never got the chance to really get to know him.

“So why are you sitting here all by yourself when it looks like heaven wants to drown us any second?” Jeno asked and sat down beside Jaemin, making the other getting startled a bit.  
Jaemin hesitated for a moment if he should really allow himself to share more information or if he should just say that he has to go and make his way out of here. But somehow he couldn’t leave Jeno behind. He really seemed to care and this event didn’t happen often in his life.  
He sighed, “Because I don’t feel like home when I’m at home?” Even tho he had decided to answer truthfully, Jaemin was still shocked at _ how  _ honest he was to someone he never really spoke to before.

“Oh,” Jeno simply said. Jaemin didn’t know if what he just said even made any sense to a stranger, but Jeno seemed to kind of understand. At least he saw how miserable Jaemin really looked.  
“If you want to, you can come to my place. Only to get some dry clothes and warm you up a bit, you’re shaking like crazy.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Jaemin said and looked down at his wet boots, “care, I mean.” He felt embarrassed that the other apparently felt that he needed some kind of help. He never needed it before.  
“I know. But I could never sleep in peace again knowing that I left a handsome guy like you alone on the streets of Seoul. Now come on,” he said and stood up.  
Slightly puzzled by the hidden compliment Jaemin wasn’t even sure really slipped through, Jaemin hesitantly got up and followed Jeno.

The way to his apartment wasn’t long.  
They pushed the door to an really old building open and went upstairs into the sixth floor. Jaemin was panting as they finally walked along the corridor to apartment number 612.

“Home sweet home,” Jeno said as he unlocked the door.  
It was a studio apartment. As soon as you walked in you were standing in the living room/kitchen. Jeno hurried to draw a curtain close to cover up his untidy bed that was standing in one corner of the room from the other’s view. There was only one door in this room and Jaemin guessed that behind it had to be the bathroom.

“I know it’s not much,” Jeno began as he also looked around his room, “but it’s my own place, so it’s alright for me.”  
“Are you kidding?” Jaemin was shocked, “It’s perfect!”  
“Oh you think so?” Jenos ears turned a little red. Jaemin nodded and probably stared at Jeno again.  
“So, uhm, I’ll get you a towel now,” the other said, hurried to the bathroom and shortly after handed Jaemin a fresh one.  
“Thanks,” he said and started drying his face and hair.  
“Sure. Do you want some dry clothes?”  
“No, it’s alright, I don’t wanna cause you any inconvenience,” Jaemin said.  
“Okay, but you don’t,” Jeno said laughingly, “come on, I’m sure I can find something that even fits your colourless-kind-of-rocker style,” he added and walked over to the biggest closet in the room.

After rummaging in it for quite a while and letting out an “Ah, perfect!”, Jeno pulled his head out of the depths of his clothes and handed Jaemin a black jumper with a skull printed on it and some black jeans.

Jaemin received the clothes and started at the jumper with his eyebrows pulled together. He then lifted his head to look at Jeno with the same expression.  
“Oh don’t look at me like that!” the other demanded. “Even I had a dark phase, okay?”  
Jaemin laughed. “A ‘dark phase’?”  
Now Jeno had to laugh as well. “Don’t judge me, I just wanted to be cool…”  
“I’m sure you were incredibly cool!”  
“Yes, I was! Now go and change, you’re dripping on the floor,” Jeno said and pouted as Jaemin left for the bathroom.

“As if it was yours from the beginning!” Jeno said happily when Jaemin had changed.  
“Thank you, Jeno. That’s way more that I could’ve asked for…”  
“Oh stop saying things like this. Do you drink hot chocolate?”  
“I-”  
“Don’t even try to refuse, Jaemin!” Jeno commanded as he made his way to the kitchen.  
“Alright, yes, I do drink hot chocolate”  
“Of course you do, who the fuck doesn’t like a hot cup of sugary sweetness?” he said and already started filling a little pot with milk.

When they sat down on the couch, the warm beverage spreading a feeling of coziness inside of them, Jaemin couldn’t resist asking that one question that was burning in him the whole time since Jeno spoke to him.

“Why are you doing all this for me?”  
“I don’t know,” Jeno said while looking away.  
“Okay, no. That’s a lie. I know why,” he placed his cup on the couch table and turned to Jaemin, “I saw you in school, okay? You never had new clothes, you were walking in fucked up shoes, even during the winter, and you barely managed to do your homework because you said you had to work. And there were these rumors…”  
“What rumors?” Jaemin was now very attentive.  
“That you were living in an orphanage,” Jeno said quietly, nearly whispering. He waited a bit to see some kind of reaction of Jaemin but the other simply stared at him, not knowing what to do with this information. He never wanted to be pitied by the others. Not back then in school and especially not now that he had the chance to really take his life into his own hands and was successful with it.

“I can take care of myself.”  
“Yes, of course. I believe that, Jaemin! I never wanted to say you can’t I-,” silence fell between them for a moment before Jeno continued, “I know this probably crosses a line and you don’t have to answer if that’s too personal for you- it probably is - but I just really want to know. Is it true? Do you live in an orphanage?”

Jaemin plainly stared at him. Never did he get asked this question before. Never did anyone care what was going on in his life. Not before he had joined SM, of course, but since he got to know them because Jaehyun killed one of the orphanages caretakers who maltreated the kids of the children’s home, he never had to explain himself to anyone. Not before now.

He still looked straight at Jeno, unsure about what to think, and what to do.  
“Yes,” Jaemin said finally, voice steadier than he would have believed it was.  
“Oh, I’m- I’m really sorry to hear that, Jaemin…” He looked at the well used carpet in front of them as if to hope it would help him coming up with a proper way to react to such a fact.

The reaction somehow made Jaemin feel uneasy, annoyed. “Why did you ask if it obviously makes you feel so freaking uncomfortable?”  
Only then it seemed that Jeno was drawn back into reality. He gazed at Jaemin, confusion was spread on his face.  
“What?” He looked bewildered.  
“Nothing,” Jaemin replied shortly and got up, making Jeno look even more confused than he already did. “Thanks for the dry clothes and hot chocolate and everything. I’ll give them back as soon as I can,” he said while twitching at his borrowed sweater.  
“Wait. Are you- are you going already?” Jeno asked and also stood up, although he stumbled and nearly fell down as he was too quick.  
“Well, yeah. You did enough for me, I won’t bother you anymore.”  
“You didn’t!” Jeno blurted out at once. “You don’t bother me, Jaemin. Not at all,” he continued in a calmer tone.

Jaemin just looked at him, unsure if the other really meant that last part.  
“Okay, anyways, I’ll go now. Is it alright if I drop by sometime in the next few days to give you your stuff back?”  
“Yes, of course, just come by whenever you want to. I mean, whenever you have time to bring them back.”  
Jaemin nodded slightly. “Thanks again, Jeno,” he said and headed for the door. Jeno hurried after him.  
“You’re very welcome, Jaemin,” he said as he was about to open it.  
Jaemin shortly smiled at him, even tho he didn’t care that his smile would not reach his eyes, and a moment later, he had disappeared through the open door.

“So that was it,” Jeno thought as he leaned against the closed door. The one-time chance to seriously talk to Na Jaemin, and he messed it up by asking stupid questions, how typical. 

After his graduation, he thought he’d never see him again. The mysterious Jaemin that nobody truly knew anything about. The guy that made him feel things his parents always told him were unnatural to feel for another man; and he did that by just looking at him. Tonight he even smiled. They talked. Jeno gave him his clothes.  
Deep down he was dancing around like a little kid getting his favourite toy for christmas, but his embarrassment and stupidity covered the joy. How could he have been so uncautious? How could he have been so insensitive? Jaemin barely knew his name and what did he do? Ask way too personal questions. As if anyone would have stayed after getting asked if they had parents or not!

Jeno slid down with his back on the door and crouched on the cold floor. At least he would have the chance to apologise when Jaemin gave him his clothes back. “I just hope he really comes back again after that,” Jeno thought and ran his fingers through his slightly untidy hair.


	5. Chapter 5

Sicheng had already finished his second coffee when Taeyong finally joined him and the others at the couch table.  
“Good work, guys, I’m impressed!” Taeyong started. “Jaehyun, Jaemin and Jisung were already successful with their jobs. The purchaser of the kill of Mr. Peonba was extraordinarily satisfied, you can be proud of yourselves,” he addressed to Jaemin and Jisung on one of the couches.

“He did want to make it public, didn’t he?” Jaemin asked.  
“Yes he did, and you just did what you always do and it was perfect. Hopefully our contact has some more men he wants to get rid of, I’m sure he’ll demand you again.”

A proud smile spread across the younger’s faces and they gave each other a subtle low-five as Taeyong continued.  
“Sicheng, how is it working at your end?”  
Sicheng sat up straighter in his armchair. “I’m working on it. I already have the plan, I just need to wait a little more.”  
“Yes, yes, that’s alright, you still have some time, don’t worry,” Taeyong said with a warm smile on his face.

“Surprisingly,” he spoke now to the whole group again, “we got another request. The time span is limited for this one, really limited, so we have to work fast. Do you know the name Marleen Lee?” he looked at his friends surrounding him, “No? That’s good for you, cause she’s a foreign spy.”

“You want us to kill a spy?!”  
“To be honest, I don’t want you to do it, the purchaser does, and he gives amazingly good money to the killers. The thing is Sicheng is still committed to his job and Jaehyun-,” Taeyong looked at him for help.  
“Sadly I’m out of town over the week, the meeting of our agencies is in Busan this time and I’m going to accompany our boss, so I won’t be able to do it.”  
“Yes,” Taeyong exhaled, “that means the job goes to Jaemin and Jisung.”

“What?!” Sicheng interrupted. “You want the two of them to kill a fucking spy? How can you do that?”  
“What, you think we can’t handle it?” Jaemin shouted at him.  
“I think that you’re a little too reckless for it, yeah!”  
“Reckless?! What do you mean? We never leave any traces behind, we always did a good job, I never missed-”  
“Yeah, but you always do it with a great ‘bang’, a big show, much drama!”  
“And even _if_ we do, it always works for us! Why are you so angry?! Just because we took a job from you?!”  
“I’m not angry because of the fucking job! I’m afraid that you die!” Sicheng shouted at him.

This silenced the whole room.

“Till when does it have to be done?” Jisung, who until now didn’t say anything to it, asked.  
Taeyong sighed, “Two days, she’s leaving Korea in two days.”

Sicheng buried his face in his hands. “Why the fuck didn’t the ‘purchaser’,” he made some exaggerating gestures at the word, “make his order a _tiny_ little bit earlier so one can even have the _chance_ to actually prepare for it?”  
“Listen,” Taeyong said in his usual calm voice, “the man that gave us this order is a really important man. Like, _really_ important. His security organisation just found out about it. They don’t know how much information she already let slip through and how much she will give her people when she’s back. All we know is that we can’t let her leave this country. Apparently she was here for quite some time but because she was a bit too invested in the lives of the other men, if you know what I mean, nobody noticed. This is a matter of national security.”  
“Men are fucking stupid,” Jaemin said, burying his face in his hands.

Sicheng, Jaehyun, Taeyong and Jisung couldn’t help but laugh. This whole situation was just too ridiculous. Two teenage boys were ordered to kill a spy people knew barely anything about and in addition to that, they were supposed to do it in two days time. What the hell?

“What if we can’t do it?” Jisung spoke. “What if we fail?”  
“If you fail? Well, then she’ll be handled by anyone else, I suppose…” Taeyong answered.  
“And?”  
“And I’ll definitely lose my job and probably won’t ever get another one in the business.”  
“But no pressure guys,” Jaehyun added sarcastically.

“Okay, what about the plan? Are we going to make it on our own?” Jaemin asked.  
“Well, since the time span is really short and our contact knows that, he helped a bit with the information. I looked over it and for me it looks like the only possible time to make the kill would be saturday morning, around 8 o’clock.” He handed Jaemin and Jisung the paper he held in his hands the whole time and they also overflew what was written.  
“Right before she’s about to fly back?”  
Taeyong nodded. “It’ll probably be the only time she will leave her apartment again.”

“What if I’ll do it?” Sicheng suddenly chimed in, “I’m way better with a sniper than Jaemin, no offense, and I’d still have enough time for my actual job. I can do it!”  
“Sicheng, no. You know our rules, never have two jobs and never two kills in a week! Besides, you’re still damaged from the last one. I know you don’t like to talk about it, but it’s clear to see that you’re not in your best form, Taeyong replied.  
Sicheng stared at him and tightly pressed his lips together. “You can’t force me.”  
“That’s right, but I can draw consequences.”  
“And why would you do that?” he hissed.  
“Because I won’t let you risk your life, your job. I won’t let you risk anything just because you don’t have enough confidence in our little ones. Remember when you started? And Jaehyun? You were even younger than Jaemin is now. Let them do it and give yourself time to heal, you need it more than you realise.”  
“Then I’ll help them. With the plan, I mean. They shouldn’t be left all alone.”

-

Jaehyun had to go home soon after, his flight would leave in a few hours and Taeyong went with him, saying he had to settle something with their boss.  
“Good luck,” he told Jaemin and Jisung before he went and hugged Sicheng.  
The other three stayed in the dark room, making plans for the upcoming kill. They decided where it was best to hide, how to attack with being possibly not in danger because of Ms. Lee or her bodyguards. Sicheng even went to the basement with them where a training station was on-hand so that Jaemin could take some more lessons with the sniper rifle - Sichengs best weapon. Luckily, he was already pretty good at it. At least for the distance he’d have to overcome, it was enough. Seeing Jaemin striking most of the time made his heart a little lighter. Even though Jaemin was the newest member of their group, he really grew on him. It was like he was his younger brother or something, he definitely was part of their family, therefore he was glad to see that he and Jisung would most likely survive their job. Hopefully.

The heaven was pitch-black when they finally left SM Tower and made their way home. Sicheng had given them some last minute tips on their way outside and made sure to wish them luck before he went. Jaemin appreciated his effort. Having someone who was standing behind him was everything for him since he never really had it before.

On his way back to the orphanage, as he was sitting in the subway leading a bit outside the city centre, he realised that he was way too nervous and excited to actually just go home and sleep now. Thus after he got off the train and made his way towards the building, he decided it would be best to give Jeno his clothes back now. Who knew if he ever got the chance again, right? What if something went wrong and he really would get killed in even less than 48 hours? This thought sent shivers down his spine and Jaemin pulled his jacket closer around him as it seemed to have gotten a whole lot colder.

He sneaked into his room where his roommate, as expected, was already sleeping tightly. He crammed through his closet and pulled out the trousers and the sweater he had borrowed that night. Then he silently sneaked out of the old building again and made his way back towards the part of the city where Jeno lived.

-

“612,” Jaemin mumbled to himself as he took the last few steps along the corridor to Jeno’s apartment. After he knocked three times he heard someone shuffle behind the door and a second later the person behind it opened it cautiously.  
“Hey,” Jaemin said as he saw Jeno’s tired face looking at him.  
“Jaemin?” the other asked in surprise, his eyes widening, and he opened the door a little more.  
“I just wanted to give you your stuff back. Sorry if I woke you up or anything.”  
“What? Oh no, no you didn’t,” Jeno said as he tried to flatten his hair a bit, now being fully aware of the situation. “Do you wanna come in?”  
“Ehm, okay,” Jaemin replied and restrainedly entered Jeno’s apartment where he was immediately led to the couch.  
He knew even before Jeno began talking that something was in the air.

“I want to talk about last time.”  
“Last time?”  
“Yeah, last time you were here. Listen, Jaemin, I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I’m sure I did. It’s just- no please let me finish- It’s just that I saw you in school all those years and nobody ever knew anything about you and I was just so curious getting to know you and I didn’t properly think about how it would make you feel and that it was way too much to ask someone you don’t know. So I just wanted to say that I feel very sorry and I don’t want you to think that I don’t respect your privacy or anything. That’s all.”

Jaemin glanced at Jeno a moment before answering. “I’m not angry at you.”  
“You’re not?” he was seriously surprised.  
“No, I- _I’m_ sorry I stormed away like that. It was probably a bit dramatic. I just didn’t know what to say, to be honest. Nobody asked me this before, I just wasn’t prepared…” He looked down on himself, the clothes he ought to bring back still grasped in his hands. He just exposed himself. He never did that or at least not that easily.  
Luckily, Jeno didn’t stress the point in nobody showing that much interest in Jaemin before.  
“So you’re not mad at me?” he questioned one more time.  
“No,” Jaemin confirmed and dared to look up again, hoping his face didn’t look as red as it felt.

“What are you doing this late at night alone anyways?” Jeno asked, his tone a lot lighter than it was just seconds ago.  
“Eh- I just wanted to bring you your stuff back.”  
“And you didn’t want to wait for tomorrow or something?”  
“Well, no. Sorry if I woke you,” Jaemin added, his voice going quieter.  
“Don’t worry so much, you didn’t. I just look this shitty because I had another night shift today, I didn’t sleep,” Jeno snickered.  
“You don’t look shitty, tho,” Jaemin replied and couldn’t help himself wondering if someone as stunning as Jeno could ever look not perfect.  
The other smiled. “Thanks,” he said and scratched his head slightly.

“Do you like your job?” Jaemin asked suddenly.  
“I- eh, it’s alright, I guess,” Jeno replied. “I’m working full time at the moment, until college begins. Then I probably only have time to do a few shifts per week so I’m saving money currently, to pay my bills and stuff later.”  
“Oh, you’re planning to go to college?”  
“You don’t?” Jeno asked surprised.  
“No, I- I never really thought it’s a place for me, you know?”  
“Why not? You were quite good at school as far as I remember.”  
“I was alright, yeah. But I don’t even know what I’m good at, I wouldn’t know what to study, where to begin, it’s just- I don’t know, it’s complicated.”  
“That’s alright, maybe you’ll find out later, maybe you don’t wanna go, that’s cool as well. There are so many ways of creating your future, don’t feel too pressured, you’ll do alright,” Jeno smiled at him. He had a comforting smile. Sincere and reassuring. Just what Jaemin needed.

“So what do you do instead? I mean, do you have a job?” Jeno asked.  
“Yeah, I have many jobs, I mean, I do many little jobs.”  
“For example?”  
“Helping people?” Jaemin hesitantly answered. He was sure this semi-lie came out way too imprecise for anyone to buy it. But then again Jeno knew just the perfect way to react.  
“Wow, you’re a bit secretive I assume?”  
Jaemin snorted, “I’m sorry, it’s just kind of hard to explain.”  
“That’s alright,” he said with a smile himself.

They sat like this, looking at each other, for a bit longer than it was expected to be, until Jaemin broke the silence again.  
“Jeno?”  
“Hm?”  
“I kind of asked myself, why do you live alone?”  
“You mean in this apartment?”  
“Yeah, you seem to have a lot of trouble getting enough money for it. Wouldn’t it been easier if you still lived with your parents?”  
“Maybe it would, but since they threw me out right after I told them that I was into boys rather than girls, I kind of didn’t have another choice, did I?”  
“Oh, I’m- really sorry, I didn’t know…”  
“Don’t be sorry, how could you know?” he snorted. “Anyway, it’s been a few months now and I’m alright, aren’t I?”  
“Seems so…” Jaemin answered unsure, avoiding the other’s glance.

“Why does this bother you so much?”  
“I just don’t get it!” he suddenly burst out “Why would parents throw out their own child just because he likes boys. I mean, who cares?! They raised you and- and _made_ you and hopefully cared for you and then they stopped just because of who you love? That doesn’t make any fucking sense!”  
“Jaemin,” he started, placing his hand on the other’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down, “it’s okay, see? I’m alive and I’m happy the way it is now. I’ve got some good friends and on top of that, if I hadn’t worked in the cafe I probably would never have got to know you.”  
“Oh yeah, what a lucky guy you are!”  
“Yes I am.”

It was only then that Jaemin realised Jeno’s hand on his shoulder. He turned his head towards it which made Jeno pull it back fastly.  
“Sorry about the outburst,” Jaemin mumbled. “And I thought my family was fucked up.” He said the last sentence more to himself than anything but Jeno was Jeno and so he noticed.  
“Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked carefully, not wanting to cross a line again.  
“Maybe next time, I think it’d get somewhat too dark for now,” Jaemin sighed and awkwardly chuckled.

“Next time?” The other asked raising a brow, “do you want to borrow more clothes?”  
Jaemin snorted, “No, I’m alright, thanks,” and placed the ones he still held close to himself on the couch table in front of them.

“Oh, actually, you can keep the shirt if you want to, I don’t wear it anyways. But I kind of want to get back the pants. They’re apparently the only cool ones I got.”  
“You want me to keep your shirt?”  
“I’m offering it, yeah. It’s more your style, I guess, so keep it if you like. I really don’t mind.”  
“Thank you, I’d actually love to. It reminds me of the clothes I owned a few years ago, you know? The ‘good old times’,” he laughed.  
“Ah, yes, the good old times, of course,” Jeno snickered.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, sorry for the delay, I couldn't really find the time to update last week until now.
> 
> I hope you enjoy anyways :)
> 
> Warning: Description of violence ahead

Jaemin woke up at 6 o'clock. More than enough time for him to wash and dress up, go to the company building to pick up his implements and maybe even get some food before meeting up with Jisung and getting in position. 

This job was a bit more complex than the ones they did before and that was not only because the woman they were about to kill is more than dangerous herself.  
New environment, another weapon, different circumstances.  
Even tho he got nervous as soon as he left the SM building, his rifle and shotgun in his backpack, he still managed to down a whole bread roll he had bought from the bakery nearby. 

However, his nervousness was nothing compared to Jisung’s. 

“Hey kiddo,” Jaemin greeted him with half a smile.  
The other was fidgeting with his hands and occasionally bit parts of his nails.  
“Jisung…” Jaemin started, slow.  
“No! Don't even say it! I'm fine, really!” he said defensively.  
“Jisung, I really appreciate that you want to support me with this, but when you're nervous like this I can't do anything with you anyways.”  
“I'm only nervous now. As soon as I am on my position and it's starting I'll be okay, you know how I am with things like these!”  
Jaemin thought for a moment longer and placed two fingers on his forehead as he was feeling like getting an headache before letting out a long sigh. “Alright, fine. You'll come with me, we don't have time to fight over this anyways. Let's go. Have you got everything?”  
Jisung nodded happily and followed Jaemin towards Signiel Seoul, the hotel Ms. Lee was staying at.  
On their way, they went over the plan a few more times and recited every single detail they had planned with Sicheng beforehand. 

And then they reached their destination. They positioned themselves in a parking deck next to the hotel. They had decided that the second floor would be most convenient for them regarding the shooting distance and possible emergency exits.  
Jisung had, as always, brought some masks with him, but it was the first time they were blank. 

“No funny characters?” Jaemin asked as he pulled the white mask on.  
Jisung just shook his head. He hadn't said anything for way too long in Jaemin’s understanding. He usually was a quiet guy but _this_ quiet just made him feel even more nervous.  
“Okay, now go, I can do the rest on my own. Keep your eyes open and call me if anything happens, alright?”  
“Alright.” Jisung confirmed. 

When he was gone, the first thing Jaemin did was taking a few deep breaths in an attempt to lower his heart rate. He knew he couldn't shoot properly when he was shaly like this and the knowledge of that didn't really help his situation. 

Why he was so nervous he didn't quite understand yet. The reason he started this job was good money and the fact that it wouldn't matter if he would die because he had nothing to lose. There were no people who would miss him, no family, no close friends. The only people he had let close to him in the last few months were also his colleagues and they knew the risk of their job. The only  _ other  _ person that came to his life lately was Jeno.  
“But I don’t even know him, do I?” he asked himself. “Gosh, Jaemin! Now is really not the time to think about boys, come on, concentrate!”

And so he continued his preparations, put up his weapon, got the right angle, focus on the exit of the hotel. Having something to do really helped him get over his nervousness. Focus was the key now.  
He knew that if something unnatural would happen, Jisung would be there to inform him. He was well-prepared and well-trained so everything would be just fine. And the second he’d have shot Marleen Lee, he and Jisung would disappear through one of the many exits and made their way back home where they would be panting and spending the rest of the day wearing off the rushed feeling from the kill. Just like they always did.

8 o’clock. Now it would begin. Ms. Lee was usually quite punctu- There she was.  
Jaemin tightened the grip on his rifle, his hands sweaty. He took some more deep breaths as he watched her stepping outside of the hotel, being followed by two cupboard-built men. He lowered his face to the rifle.  
“No hasty movements, slow, stay calm,” he repeatedly told himself mentally.

Then the moment was there. She was fully exposed, no buildings, no cars, no people were in between her and Jaemin’s death-shot. And so he shot.  
Every other sound was muted for him after the loud bang. And a millisecond later, it hit him. 

He missed.  
He fucking missed her. 

One of the big men was already running towards the parking garage. “He’ll get Jisung,” was the first thought that clashed through his mind. He tried to shout for him, to tell him he should run, but no sound could escape his lips. He just stayed there, laying on the cold floor, sweat breaking out from every single part of his body, his mind as blank as the mask he was wearing.

As soon as he felt like his eyes were functioning again, he saw the other bodyguard of her trying to make out from where exactly the shot came. The man pulled his gun out and shot in the direction where Jaemin lay. The good thing was that he didn’t really have a clue yet where it came from. The bad thing: Jaemin shot again, a second time, a third time. Ms. Lee collapsed onto the car she was about to get in. She was dead, that was for sure.

The other man now also ran into the building he and Jisung where in. Jaemin saw all this happen but his body still refused to move, he felt paralysed. It only hit him that it wasn’t over yet when he heard a loud scream from a level down.  
A moment later he turned around and saw Jisung running upstairs, he was followed by the second man. As he saw Jaemin laying there on the floor, the rifle in his hands, he suddenly stopped following Jisung and straight up stamped to him instead.

Jaemin tried to get up but it was too late. The man shot, but missed.  
He crawled fastly behind one of the few cars in the garage. Jaemin was sure that his heartbeat could be heard even a mile away. It thumped in his ears, making every other sound dull once again.  
Windows shattered and the loud footsteps of her bodyguard came closer every second. Then it stopped. The shooting stopped.

There was only a hiss, “Ah, shit!” by the other man and Jaemin knew that this was probably his only chance. He ran from behind the car to his backpack, he couldn’t leave the evidence, and even managed to cramp the rifle back in before he was being tackled back down by the man. Fists flew, elbows were being pushed into each others bodies and then there was another shot.  
The weight of the man crashed down on him fully and before fastly pushing him aside, Jaemin had a hard time to breathe. The other man screamed and whimpered as he lay on the floor, holding his now fucked up knee that Jaemin had managed to hit with the pistol he was hiding in his pants.

He didn’t have long to look at him, tho, as the next moment Jisung was running towards him.  
“Jaemin! Jaemin I heard a shot, I thought you were shot, I-” But he was broken off by another pair of footsteps coming upstairs.  
They quickly turned around only to see that the man that first ran into the building was hubbling towards them, a knife sticking inside his chest. He was weakened so it was easy for Jaemin to grab the knife and pulling it out again. He immediately started to bleed like hell and fell to the ground as he didn’t have the strength to stay up any longer.

“Come on!” Jaemin yelled, grabbed his bag and Jisung, and the two of them fled from the scene.

They ran towards smaller alleys and behind houses and tall buildings that blocked out the shining sun and made sure that no one had followed them before they stopped.  
They were panting, just like Jaemin had predicted, but the circumstances were quite different.

He looked at Jisung, his face was red from the cold air and long run, he was shaking and repeatedly looking around him to see if there was anyone else near. His jacket and body was covered in scratches, dust and a bit of blood Jaemin knew that he probably looked the same.

“Jaemin, I think I killed him. I killed a man. I- I stabbed a man. He wanted to kill me but I killed him!” Jisung was only a wreck of nerves. Tears were filling his bloodshot eyes.  
Jaemin held him by his shoulder in a weak attempt to calm the other down. He couldn’t show his own tension now. One of them had to stay relatively calm in order to get them safe, he knew that.  
“Jisung, listen to me!” he hissed, “It was self defense, it clearly was and we don’t even know if the man died or not and even if he did,  _ I _ killed him. It was me who pulled out the knife in order to let him bleed. It was me alright? You did a great job and did everything perfect. But now you have to listen to me! I will bring you home now, it has to be. And then everything will be alright again, okay?”

It seemed like his deep voice and encouraging words really did some magic because Jisung stopped shaking so much and both of their breathings began to slow down.  
“Will you help me get you home safely now?”  
Jisung nodded shortly. He just wanted to go home, to be safe, Jaemin knew that because he wanted the same, even though he didn’t know where his home would be.

Together and with much less speed they made their way towards Jaehyun’s and Taeyong’s apartment. Luckily they were good at hiding their faces so that no passing stranger would find two young men walking around Seoul with obviously damaged faces and dirty clothes suspicious.  
When they reached the apartment, Taeyong opened the door and Jaemin could immediately see the word “Worry” spread across his face.

“What the hell happened?!” he asked as soon as the two stepped in.  
Jaemin managed to give him a shortened version of the last events before going back to silence again.

“How are you guys feeling?” Taeyong asked after listening attentively.  
“Shocked,” Jisung blurted out.  
“But we’re not seriously hurt. Not as far as I know,” Jaemin added.  
“Okay, but you’ll be checked. We can go right to Dr. Choi and-”  
“Please don’t!” Jaemin interrupted him a little louder than intended. “I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to do this right now.”  
“It’s okay, I understand. We can go whenever you guys want to. Just tell me and we’ll go.”  
“Thanks,” Jaemin mumbled.

“Can I do anything else for you? Do you want to stay here?” Taeyong offered in his usual, parental-like manner.  
“No, I’m alright. You should only care for Jisung. He feels much worse than me. I just need peace to calm down.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“Yeah, yeah I am. I’ll see you around,” Jaemin replied and stood up.  
Taeyong followed him to the door.  
“Jaemin, I just want you to know that if you need something, anything, you can call me, or drop by or reach me however you want to. I am here for you so please don’t hesitate if you need help or just want company, okay?”  
“Thank you,” Jaemin whispered and went in for a deep hug with Taeyong before leaving their apartment.  
Taeyong was truly someone Jaemin would describe as the closest parent-figure he ever had.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers ~~
> 
> thank you so much for patiently waiting for this update. I can't guarantee you how regurarly the next chapters will come since, you know, uni can be a bitch sometimes...
> 
> Regardless of that, I hope you enjoy this one :) Thank you for reading~

As soon as Jaemin stepped outside the building, the cold afternoon air hit him. It ruffled his hair and soothed his thoughts about the past few hours. He was still shaking as he made his way towards the Han River where he decided to stay for a while. It wasn’t crowded because it was way too chilly for people to enjoy the various offerings of water sports. And that’s exactly what he needed. Silence. 

He sat down on one of the many benches at the riverbank and tilted his head towards the slowly setting sun. What would happen next he didn’t know and that’s what he liked about his job. Appreciate the free and carefree moments as long as you can because you never know when it will change and when your whole life could be turned upside down.

“Excuse me, sir?” A pause. “Sir, you can’t sleep here.”  
“What?” Jaemin mumbled, his voice raspy.  
He looked around, the sun wasn’t high above anymore. How long had he been asleep? He didn’t even realise that he was this tired.  
“Sir, will you get up now or do I have to call someone?”  
“No, I’ll go, I’ll go, Jesus! I just need some time…”  
The man that woke him, one of the shop owners as Jaemin could figure out by his working uniform, didn’t look impressed. He stood there until the other eventually got up and made his way away from the river.

It was freezing, Jaemin realised. Sleeping outside wasn’t the best idea he had in a while but well, today didn’t seem to be his best anyways, so whatever…  
As he was walking around and people passing by started gazing at him he realised that he was still wearing his dirty clothes and guessed that his face was probably still a bit bloody. So he decided that it was best to drive to the orphanage for now.

“Hey dude, you look like shit,” his roommate greeted him in his usual, gladly not prying, manner as soon as he had stepped inside.  
“Yeah, I know, thanks.”  
Jaemin went to take a shower in the shared bathroom, rubbing off his and the man’s dried blood and changed into some fresh clothes before heading out again.  
The turned on street lamps barely lit the road as he walked around, not knowing where he was heading at. But then he recognised the street he was in.

“Should I really go to him now? What if he doesn’t even want to see me?” Jaemin thought. For some unknown reasons he really wanted to visit Jeno, talk to him, be with him. He just wanted someone to give him other thoughts. Other than the shitty day he had till now.  
Even tho his mind was still revolting against it, his guts made him move towards the apartment complex the other was living in.  
  


“Jaemin?! Oh my God, what happened?” Jeno was shook as soon as he opened the door for him. He made a gesture to invite Jaemin in and the other followed.  
“Eh, hi,” Jaemin said with a sheepish smile. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t plan on going here, he didn’t know what to do. This suddenly made him feel really insecure about himself.  
“Hi,” Jeno replied softly. “You don’t look good.”  
“Thanks,” Jaemin snorted.  
“No, that’s- that’s not what I meant, I mean- uh, why do you have to make it so hard for me?” He retorted as his lips formed a quirky smile on his face.  
“It’s alright, Jeno. Yeah, I had an accident at work, nothing dramatic, tho, but it kind of ruined my face, I guess,” he said and tried to go for a casual smile.  
“I think nothing could ever ruin your face.”

He probably looked as surprised as Jaemin was at this moment, unsure about the fact if those words really just left his mouth. He fastly cleared his throat.  
“Eh, I just wanted to get changed, I’m still smelling like coffee and cake.”  
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to just burst in, I was just walking and-” Jaemin began rambling before the other cut him off.  
“You didn’t, calm down,” Jeno laughed. “I just wanted to say that you can get something to drink if you want to. Make yourself comfortable, okay? I’ll be back in a second.”  
“Oh, okay,” Jaemin said quietly as Jeno picked up some clothes from his bed and headed for the bathroom.

Jaemin looked around and slowly moved to the kitchen area. He carefully opened a few cupboards to see if glasses were anywhere to be found.

“Jeno?”  
“Yeah?” came the reply out of the bathroom.  
“Could you tell me where your glasses are?” he asked as he closed another cupboard containing a vast collection of different shaped and coloured plates.

The door suddenly opened and the incredible view of a well-trained upper body was offered to Jaemin. He tried not to stare but it was hard to do as the other looked so… ethereal. Slim but muscular, the waistband of his underpants slightly peeking out from under his sweatpants and his hair partly covering his face. His appearance was the definition of perfection in every form.

“What did you say?” Jeno asked while walking towards the kitchen area.  
“Eh… I- I was looking for a glass,” Jaemin replied as in a daze. It helped a lot as Jeno pulled over his shirt. It didn’t help, however, as he was coming closer and closer to the frozen Jaemin to reach into another cupboard and took out two glasses.  
“Thanks,” he said as the light smell of delicious coffee and chocolate cake slowly drifted away again.  
“Water?”  
“Yes please”  
“So, do you want to talk about your work?” Jeno asked as he poured him and Jaemin.  
“No, actually not.”  
“Okay, then how can I help you?”  
“Sorry?” Jaemin asked wide eyed.  
“You came here.” Still no reply from Jaemin. “Well, I thought it had a reason you came. Is something wrong?”  
“I- no. I just- came here, I guess.” Jaemin knew how featureless his statement was.  
Jeno snorted. “Okay, you just came here, that’s fine.” He smiled again and Jaemin was glad to see that his smile was sincere.

“So, let’s talk about your day. How was it?” Jaemin began after they sat down on the couch.  
“My day,” Jeno let out a long breath, “it was busy at work, as usual, but there were no crazy customers today, which is pretty great.”  
“Crazy customers?” Jaemin asked with a smile as he took another sip.  
“Yeah, like the ones with all the extra wishes. No sugar or calorie-free or something like this. I mean, they are visiting a cafe and expect something else than water to fulfill these wishes? I don’t understand,” he said and made an obviously dramatic gesture with his hands.

They talked for a while like this about Jeno’s day. Different types of customers, some stories from another time, how he got the job and then how much they both loved coffee.

Half an hour, maybe an hour passed before a moment of silence followed their laughter.  
“Jaemin?”  
“Yeah?” he looked up again, meeting Jeno’s eyes.  
“I know you said that you didn’t want to talk about your work but I still have to ask: What happened to your face? Actually, it’s not only your face. You look like you haven’t slept in days and you don’t seem to be anything near happy right now. Of course it’s okay to feel this way sometimes, but still, is there anything I can do?”

Another moment of silence.

“I’m alright.”  
“Yeah you said that,” Jeno said unimpressed.  
“Because it’s the truth,” Jaemin tried again, “I just had a rough day. A really rough day, okay? And then this accident happened, but it was my own fault, I didn’t pay attention. Anyways, it didn’t help my day to get any better…”

Jeno nodded slowly, “Okay. I have another question, tho.”  
“What is it?” Jaemin sighed.  
“Why did you came to me?” There was something unreadable in his eyes. The way he looked at him, Jaemin wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen this gaze before, somehow it was too intense, too sincere.  
“I- I don’t know” he looked away.  
“You don’t know?” he asked amused.  
“Yeah, I was walking around and I happened to be in your street and just- I don’t know…” Jaemin trailed off.  
“Okay,” Jeno said again, his warm eyes laying on Jaemins injured face.

“Do you want me to go?”  
“No!” came the sudden reply. “No, I don’t want you to go. You can stay as long as you want. It wouldn’t feel right for me to let you go. Not when you’re like this.”  
“But you don’t even know how I usually am,” Jaemin squinted his eyes.  
“I know that you’re not like this. Nobody is.”

Jaemin didn’t want to disagree. He simply sat there, looking at Jeno, the boy with whom he felt just right. The boy that could calm him down without doing much more than being there. It was weird and Jaemin didn’t understand it quite yet, but he knew that he didn’t want to go. 

Then Jeno broke the intense staring that was going on just a second before. “Do you want to eat something? ‘Cause I’m sure as hell starving right now!” he laughed and managed to lift the mood like is was nothing.  
Jaemin laughed, “Okay.”  
“Great, because there is this discount I can get from a delivery service that just opened. What do you want?”

-

As soon as their food arrived, the atmosphere suddenly became lighter. Jaemin didn’t even realise how hungry he was before he took the first bite out of his pizza.  
“Is it good?” Jeno asked, his mouth filled up with spicy noodles.  
Jaemin only managed to nod furiously.  
Jeno snorted at his reaction and after he swallowed continued, “you look like a chipmunk when your mouth is stuffed like this,” he laughed.  
“Oh shut up! Am I supposed to look good while eating? No one can do this, that’s not fair!” he laughed.

Jeno pouted at that “I look good while eating!”  
“Oh yeah? Keep telling yourself that,” Jaemin replied. Tho he had to smile right after that, because he knew what a big lie it was to say that Jeno looked bad in any possible situation.

“What are you thinking about?” Jeno asked.  
“Sleep,” Jaemin haf-lied. He was incredibly tired all of a sudden.  
“Do you want to sleep here? I can take the couch and you can sleep in my bed.”  
“No, that’d be too much. I think I’ll just catch the next subway that goes my way.”  
“But you don’t have to. It’s alright for me, Jaemin. Except if you don’t want to sleep in a crazy comfortable bed,” he wiggled his eyebrows causing Jaemin to snort.  
“Alright, I’ll stay. I don’t even feel like having enough energy left to take another two steps,” he let his head fall onto the backrest. “But I’ll take the couch!”  
“Fine, take the damn couch,” Jeno mumbled.

They both cleaned up after finishing eating and got ready for bed.  
Jeno pulled another pillow and blanket out of his closet and Jaemin made himself comfortable on the couch while the other was placing himself into bed.

A few silent minutes passed and Jaemin was still wide awake, trying to get a comfortable position so that nothing would press onto his wounds anymore. But that was hard to do on such an old and well used surface.

“Jaemin?” came the sleepy sound out of the bed.

He thought Jeno had been asleep long ago.

“Yeah?” he whispered back.  
“If you keep rolling over like this we both won’t get a chance to sleep tonight.”  
“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to get comfortable…”

A moment of silence. Maybe Jeno fell asleep, Jaemin thought.

“Do you want to change? The offer is still on the table, I can get the couch,” came the sudden answer.  
“No, I’ll be quiet now, I promise,” Jaemin pleaded.  
“Alright then, good night.”  
“Night, Jeno.”

More time passed and Jaemin was still wide awake despite being incredibly tired. All of his body ached from the happenings of the day. The side of his stomach burned from the one-to-one fight with one of the security-guys where he got hit.  
He really has to get checked soon.

Then suddenly came a ruffling sound from the direction of the bed.  
“Jeno?” Jaemin whispered into the dark.  
“Yeah,” came the mumbled reply. “You still can’t sleep, right?”

Jaemin didn’t answer but he didn’t even have to.

“Just join me,” Jeno muttered tiredly.  
“What?”  
“The bed is big and comfortable and I really don’t have all night to help you fall asleep, just come here.”

The other thought for a moment before finally taking the offer and slowly moving towards the bed, his pillow in his hand. Jeno moved to one side of it to make space for Jaemin and patted the place beside him to signal that he should lay down here.

Jeno looked hot, Jaemin thought inappropriately. His hair messy, his face kind of crumpled. He only wore his sweatpants that were covered by the blanket and a white shirt while stretching his arm out to reach the spot he cleared for the other.  
Jaemin threw his pillow next to Jeno’s and carefully lowered himself to lay next to him.

It felt strange, lying in a different room next to someone he only met a few days ago. But the warmth the other person in bed was radiating and the feeling it gave Jaemin wasn’t strange. It was good.  
Jaemin was facing the ceiling as he heard the other speak.  
“Better?” Jeno asked.  
“Yeah… a lot,” Jaemin replied and smiled at him. Jeno smiled back and for a moment, none of them moved away.  
“I hope you can sleep now,” Jeno whispered as he threw the blanket over him.  
“Thanks, good night, Jeno,” Jaemin replied softly as he was startled by the motherly-move.  
“Good night, Jaemin,” the other said and turned around again, leaving Jaemin nothing but his pitch-black hair to stare at.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did it!
> 
> I hope you are ready to get some insight in Jaemin's life~

The sun set hours ago but Jaemin was still waiting. He waited for someone, someone he didn't know. Then, in the distance, he saw a shadow, shaped like a man. It walked towards him, stomping through the deep snow that fell the previous day. He came closer with every step he took until he stopped in his track a few metres away from him. Jaemin tried to take a step towards the man, he wanted to know who he was and what he wanted but his feet wouldn't move.  
“Hey son,” the man suddenly said. 

Then the scene changed. 

Jaemin was far away from the place he stood just seconds before. He was in a parking garage. No, not  _ any _ parking garage. It was the one where he and Jisung killed two people today.  
He looked around, trying to find any other person but it was completely empty. He walked towards the door, trying to get out. He didn't want to be in this place, he didn’t want the memories to come back. But the moment he tried to open one of the emergency exit doors someone appeared right in front of him. 

“Jaemin, you can't go now. The people will come and they want to kill you,” Jisung said calmly, too calm.  
“Jisung! What are you talking about?”  
“They said that you have to die. And I do too.”  
“No, no you don't have to die! Why should you?” Panic rose in Jaemin, he had promised himself that nothing could ever happen to Jisung. No matter how bad the situation, he would make sure the other was safe first, always.

But Jisung had no chance to answer as in the next eyelash, a knife pierced through his back. Jaemin wanted to scream, cry, do anything, but all he could was being horrified as the boy sank to his knees, his frozen smile still on his face. Then Jaemin looked up. 

He couldn't recognise the man's face.  
“Why did you do that?!” Jaemin yelled at him. He already felt the stinging behind his eyes.  
“He was a friend of yours, right? And so he had to die,” the stranger reasoned.

“I don't understand,” was the only thing Jaemin managed to get out.  
“Of course you don't, you foolish boy!” hissed the man. “You, my dear, bring death wherever you go. You even killed your own mother! What kind of person does that?”

At that he broke, his tears were rushing down his face, “I didn't kill her! My dad did, he killed her!” he screamed.  
“Oh and why did he do that?!” the man shouted back angrily. “He was so stressed out and that was only because of you! _You_ made his life so hard so he had to take it out on someone! You would always run away from him after a few beats, such a wimp!” he spat. “Your mom on the other side, she was a good wife. She offered to take it instead of you, remember? She did that to spare you and your filthy ass! She _died_ because you were weak!”  
“I am not weak!” he yelled back, all the anger boiling up in him.  
“Then prove it!” screamed the man and suddenly Jaemin felt hands tighten around his arm. He got pushed down on the floor and the man unbuckled his belt.  
“No! No!” screamed Jaemin but the man already struck out. 

“Jaemin! Jaemin!”  
He woke up startled, sweating and his face felt wet. There was no dangerous man, no belt. Only Jeno, who looked at him with his eyes widened in shock. 

“What-?” he gulped. It took him a moment to adjust and to realise that he was in fact not in danger.  
“You screamed in your dream,” he began softly. “You were crying and screaming.” He sounded worried.  
“I'm sorry I woke you up. Again.”  
“I don't care about that. Are you alright?” A pause. “Do you wanna talk about it? About your dream?”

Jaemin shook his head slightly. 

Jeno sighed, but accepted his choice in keeping it to himself. He laid down again carefully taking in every detail on Jaemin’s face.  
His face was lit up only by the pale moonlight that came through the window across the room. It made the tear-stains on his face only more visible so Jeno couldn't resist to wipe them away.  
His hands were soft on his burning skin. Jaemin closed his eyes and intentionally moved closer towards him so that his face was only centimetres away from Jeno’s chest. The other placed his arm around him and softly stroked the back of his head. 

Then suddenly Jaemin broke the silence.  
“It was about my dad.”  
“What?” Jeno was surprised.  
“I dreamed about my dad,” Jaemin mumbled right before sleep took over him again. 

As Jaemin woke up he felt a strange pressure on his waist. He properly opened his eyes and was surprised to see Jeno there. Then he remembered what had happened the previous night. His dream, Jeno comforting him. It was all a little blurry. 

The other was still asleep so Jaemin tried hard to come up with a plan of leaving the bed without him waking up. However, the ways he had come up with till now all got destroyed once Jeno moved in his sleep, pulling him even closer. Now Jaemin really had no idea how to get out of this situation so he did the best he could think of and closed his eyes once more. Not to sleep, but to rest a little more. 

He smelled the other person in front of him and it calmed him. Jeno smelled so good. A little sleepy, a little chocolate and cafe and a little like cotton which was probably because Jaemin was face pressed to the others shirt.  
It all felt so warm that he was just about to actually fall asleep again. He didn't, tho, because right then Jeno woke up. 

“Oh, sorry, did I wake you up?” he asked immediately, looking down to Jaemin but not letting go of him.  
“No, I've been awake a while.”  
“Oh. Then good morning Jaemin,” the other said with a smile.  
“Morning,” Jaemin mumbled back. 

Laying like this, waking up together, this all felt strangely domestic to him but Jeno seemed so comfortable that he didn't want to make him feel weird by asking him to move away a bit. 

“How are you feeling?” Jeno asked, his soft voice more raspy than usual.  
“Well rested I'd say.”  
“Yeah, I know my arms are the best,” Jeno complimented himself.  
“Yeah, right,” Jaemin replied sarcastically, trying to shove him away, but Jeno wasn’t impressed by it, he kept hold on him tightly.  
Jeno snorted. 

“But really, tho. You scared the shit out of me when you started screaming. Are you seriously alright?”  
“I'm sorry… Yeah, I mean, it was just a dream.” But he knew it was more than a dream. He knew that the man in his dream was right. He brought death wherever he went. This realisation suddenly made him feel all squirmy inside.  
“No, don't be sorry. I am just worried about you.”  
“Why?” Jaemin asked, being this close to him and hearing how caring Jeno is made him feel even more nervous than before.  
“I- I just am, okay?”

Jaemin tilted his head to look at him. His dark eyes gazed down to him, making him feel small but at the same time comforted. Jeno moved his hand that was holding Jaemin to the other’s hair and brushed a strand of it out of his face.  
There was it again, the strange domestic feeling.

“Do you want to take a shower? Your hair is like super messy,” Jeno joked in an attempt to break the silence.  
Jaemin snorted and slightly hit his chest. “You’re mean!”  
“I’m not mean, just an honest person that feels obliged to tell a friend if he looks bad.”  
“Fuck off,” Jaemin said laughing and tried to wrestle Jenos arms away from him who only hold on tighter.  
“If you don’t let me go, I have no chance to shower!”  
Jeno laughed but eventually let go of the other.

Jeno changed and set off coffee while Jaemin was showering. Then he heard the bathroom door getting slowly opened. Jaemin poked his head through the narrow gap, his wet hair fell to his face.  
“Jeno, ehm… Do you- could you borrow me some clothes, maybe? I don’t want to put on the things I slept in again”  
“Yeah, sure,” he replied and moved to his closet to pick something for him. After he did, he neatly laid them down on the couch which was at least a few steps away from the bathroom.

“What’s with that surprised face? Did you think I’ll bring them to you?”  
“I- yeah, I thought you would.”  
Jeno sat down on the couch.  
“Jeno, what-?”  
“I am sorry to say that I don’t really feel like getting up again,” he said with an evil smirk.  
Jaemin closed the door again and a second later he came out with a towel wrapped around his waist.  
“Fucking pervert,” he mumbled as he went to the couch to grab the clothes Jeno had put out for him.  
The other didn’t even try to hide his gaze. He carefully observed every inch of Jaemin as walked towards him. Not in a creepy way, tho. Just like he was stunned that he actually got to see so much of him, which he was. He was totally surprised to see him half naked, only covered by a towel, in _his_ apartment.  
Jeno tried to cover his uprising nervousness with laughter, which obviously worked because Jaemin didn’t seem to have noticed as he was too busy grabbing all of the clothes.

However, when Jaemin made his way towards the bathroom again, Jeno’s laughing died abruptly.  
He gaze was fixated on the other’s back, shocked about what he saw. There was a knot tightening in his throat and he had to concentrate hard on something else to avoid his eyes filling up with tears.

When Jaemin had finished changing and came out again, this time fully dressed in some pair of jeans and a simple white shirt, Jeno immediately shot up.  
“Jaemin, you-”  
“What?” he looked down on his chest to where Jeno was staring.  
The other gulped. “Your back-”

Jaemin’s head shot up fastly, his eyes were widened in surprise. He had totally forgotten about this. He never had to hide it so he didn’t think before just walking half naked around Jeno.  _ I’m such an idiot _ , he thought. But even cursing at himself wouldn’t make a change right now. It happened and he had to decide fastly what he would tell Jeno. The truth, another lie?

“Jaemin,” Jeno said his name so softly that Jaemin felt his knees getting wobbly only by the sound of his name. “You said you dreamed about your dad. Has this, by any chance, got something to with him?”  
He was careful with the choice of his words, not wanting to overstep something, not wanting the other to block him out again and run away. He just wanted to know the answers. He just wanted to understand Jaemin more. He wanted to know why such a nice and kind and funny person had such a bad luck in the past.

Jaemin couldn’t say anything, he didn’t expect any of this to happen, but his silence was enough agreement to Jeno.  
The other’s mouth opened and closed again. He didn’t know what to say. If he should comfort him or better leave him alone. To his surprise, Jaemin was the one who spoke this time.  
“It had to had a reason I’m living in an orphanage, right?”  
“Jaemin I-”  
“Please don’t say you’re sorry, please,” there was a clear note of annoyance in his voice. Not enough to stop Jeno, though.  
“Would you tell me?”  
“Tell you what exactly?”  
“Would you tell me about yourself?” His interest was sincere, Jaemin could tell. He just didn’t know why.  _ Why  _ was Jeno so interested in knowing this about him? It was ages ago and nearly nobody had ever cared enough to ask him such personal things and Jaemin had been grateful for it, for being let alone. But with Jeno it was different. He wanted him to know him,  _ really _ know him. It just felt right to tell him. He felt safe.

They sat down again after bringing coffee with them.  
“What do you want to know?” Jaemin asked.  
“Actually everything. But let’s start with your childhood. Would that be alright?”  
“I don’t know. It’s not a funny story or anything to be honest,” Jaemin snorted.  
“Could you tell me anyways? I swear I’ll try not to cry,” he replied and held up two crossed fingers to support his statement.  
“What do I get if you do?” Jaemin joked, taking a sip from his cup.  
“Probably a hug,” Jeno replied, more serious this time.

“Great. Okay, where should I start? I was born in Seoul, my mom and dad were together back then. She was the nicest mom anyone could have had. The only problem was him. To shorten it a bit, they fought a lot. Like, a  _ lot _ . Ehm,” Jaemin started fidgeting with his shirt by now, “he wasn’t the best in keeping his temper, actually…”

“Jaemin, is he responsible for these scars on your back?” Jeno asked carefully, not wanting to overstep a line that was clearly there.  
Jaemin nodded. “Like I said, he wasn’t the best to keep his temper. He was stressed out everyday after work and didn’t have an outlet so I think that was my mom and me then…” he trailed off.

His eyes flickered up to look at Jeno, unsure what kind of reaction he’d see. But to his surprise, Jeno was keeping it together pretty well.  
“What happened to your mum?” Jeno whispered.  
“She died. I was eight. And, yeah, the youth welfare office apparently thought it wasn’t a good idea to leave me with my abusive dad, so I got brought to the orphanage and dad went to prison.”  
“Wow, that’s… I don’t know what to say,” he whispered again.

“It’s alright, Jeno, really. It’s so long ago, I don’t think about it that much. It’s just my life, you know?”  
“Yeah,” Jeno replied absentmindedly.

Suddenly he spoke again. “You weren’t adopted. Why?”  
Jaemin laughed. “Who do you think wants to adopt a kid that’s almost ten and has had traumatic experiences with his own parents? They all thought I’d be problematic, I guess, so that was not an option.”  
“I would have adopted you!” Jeno blurted out and his voice cracked.  
Jaemin snorted. “Thanks, but unfortunately you were a bit too young at that time to adopt anyone I suppose.”  
“Probably, yeah… But I would have, I’m sure you were cute.”  
“Were?” Jaemin asked with a raised eyebrow.  
“Yeah, you  _ were  _ cute and now you’re hot,” Jeno replied confidently.

This made Jaemin choke on his coffee so that he spilled parts of it on the couch table and on his borrowed jeans.  
“Oh, no, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll give them back clean,” he said apologetically while blushing hard but Jeno was way too busy laughing than to actually care.  
“Has no one ever told you that you're hot?” Jeno asked stunned.  
“I- no!”  
“That’s really unfortunate…” Jeno said and moved a little closer to the other. “I don't like it if people conceal the truth,” he continued and sneaked his fingers to Jaemin’s hand. 

In this moment, just as their fingers had barely touched each other, Jaemin flinched away.  
“Sorry,” Jeno mumbled and backed away from him.  
Jaemin looked at his half finished coffee in front of him.  
“I didn’t want to cross a line. I’m sorry, that was so inappropriate... I just thought- I mean, it felt like- uh nevermind,” Jeno finished his blabber.  
“You didn’t. I mean, yes, but also no…”  
“What?”  
“I think I should just go,” Jaemin said and already started making his way to the apartment door when Jeno grabbed his wrist from behind.  
“No! Don’t just run away, we can talk about it, I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” he continued to apologise.  
“You don’t,” Jaemin cut him off, “Actually, I didn’t feel this at home for a very long time. Forever, I’d say. I just can’t stay. It’s not- good.”  
Jeno became much quieter now. “Am _I_ not good?”  
Jaemin bit his bottom lip and swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat.  
“No. I am not. And I won’t allow you to be harmed, not because of me.”

Jeno’s eyes flickered as he tried to look for answers in Jaemin’s. “What are you even talking about?”  
Jaemin shook his head. “Nothing, bye Jeno,” he said and fastly left Jeno’s apartment, leaving the other one baffled behind.


End file.
